Review – Twilight lol

I know I’m a little behind in my movie watching.

Okay first things first. I think from now on I’m going to go into a movie thinking its going to be the worst piece of shit I have ever seen.

It worked with “Tristan + Isolde,“ and it worked with “Tomb Raider.” And it sure as hell worked to a major degree with “Failure to Launch” and “Fool’s Gold.”

Magically it worked again… kind of.

Twilight is the story of Bella, her mom is remarried and to make her happy, Bella goes to live with her dad so her mother can travel with her new man.

Thats the last I cared about that part of the story. lol

Ok her dad, typical. Stereotype. Cop, lives his life. Doesn’t know how to deal with a teenage daughter. Seems distant but trying. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now lets go to the new school. Will she be rejected? Will she feel isolated? Well not at all. The school is full overly nice, friendly, outgoing people. So she could care less about them. But the dude shes drawn to,  Edward, is a typical loner. So she can’t be happy just being surrounded by an entire school of nice people who want to be her friend. She has to go for the guy who want’s nothing to do with her. 

By the way, where on Earth do stereotypical girls exist that aren’t catty or bitchy?? This school is loaded with them, and  I loved them.

Ok so Edward makes stinky faces at Bella, she wants to cry. She want’s to ask why he thinks shes stinky. So blah blah blah 2 hours later. He saved her life for a 3rd time. Or did he?

Vampires are supposed to be hot. The only hot one in the movie is the native american dude Jacob.

Who would you rather fondle you while you sleep?

   

Rest my case.

By the way.. the movies good. Except its made for girls. Not just people with vajayjays. I mean girls.

“You need to see what I look like in the sunlight!”