Things

Life has been a little hectic lately. My emotions have been on edge. My sleep has been erratic. And I just feel like a failure at everything I do.

My birthday is 31 days away. I will say it as thirty-one because that makes it feel longer. Or maybe I will say it as two fortnights, one week and one day away. That makes it seem like it will be far off.

I feel old. I feel like a child as well. I feel as if I went from thirteen to thirty. I feel that if something happens that I should be somewhat prepared for. I will not be able to recover.

I feel lots of things: Scared, Sad, Hopeful, Nervous, and most of all alone.

I know I am not alone, my friends always say they are there for me. But I never want to bring them down by unloading on them. Mainly because they are optimistic people for the most part, and they will all have the same answer with no idea of how I can achieve the answer with my situations.

I think I feel so alone due to lack of love. I know everyone has trouble finding someone, and I know that I am not the greatest catch with all this stress/drama.  But lack of actual love, not just friendship, can make you feel really alone.

PLUR