so much on my mind

It's hard to think sometimes.

I need a job badly.
My brother and I need a more stable place to live.
We both need to be able to drive too.

Problems arise:
I have already put application at distances I can walk to without being drenched in sweat.
The car keeps on dying and needs power steering fluid I believe.
Mom is sick badly.
Dad is sick but in denial.

I wish I could find a way for us all to sit down and talk.
I feel like I'm 10 anytime I talk with Dad.
He makes me feel like I shit when we do talk.
I want to say to him that if he could help me get my license, working wouldn't be a problem. Because I could apply for jobs that I can't walk to.
I want to say to him, that it would be easier for all of us if he could move to Clermont in a place thats big enough for him, Brian, and me.

I want to say so much, but anytime he starts in about things I sit silently, agreeing with him, and crying.

I want to be with mom during her cancer treatments, but I also need to start my life. I am nearly 30. With my family's health history, I'm lucky if I have another 30 years. I sit, depressed, and I cry. I cry for hours on end, because I have no clue what I can do.

Peace
Love
Unity
Respect